Dear Manay Gina,
I am 24 years old and I have known my boyfriend for almost nine years. We’ve been dating for almost three years. Lately, I have been wanting to move on with my life. Actually, I really want to get married and have a family in the next few years. However, my boyfriend disagrees. He reasons that we still have a lot to achieve in life and there shouldn’t be any rush.
Does this mean that he thinks I’m not a marriage material?
Rose
Dear Rose,
I wish I could offer you enough clarity about what pushing someone into marriage tends to lead to, when partners don’t have the same goals. However, what I know for sure is: You cannot form a solid future with someone when you don’t respect his choice of not getting married yet.
You should enter this married life with your guy by your side, not pushing him from behind. His refusal to get married doesn’t necessarily mean that he doesn’t love you. As he said, he thinks you still have a lot to achieve. Now, explaining clearly and logically why you want to get married can make a big difference. But addressing his concerns is also equally important.
Consequently, it’s wise to focus on other ways to get your needs met rather, than making marriage a deal-breaker. I also hope you have pursued your education and have a job and outside interests. You also need to talk with peers and family members who are married with kids to see what their lives are like.
With affection,
Manay Gina
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“It is in your moments of decision that your destiny is shaped.” – Tony Robbins
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Send questions to dearmanaygina@yahoo.com
