Dear Manay Gina,
I have a two-year relationship with my girlfriend. She is sweet and caring but she has become very overweight. She was chubby before but not this fat. It is now driving a wedge between us. I like to go to the gym and do active things, while her idea of a good time generally consists of eating and excursions. And whatever I say, she seems to find an excuse to stay inactive.
I feel so shallow that this is a concern for me, but I don’t want to go through life doing activities alone and dealing with the health problems a life of inactivity will bring to her.
Sam
Dear Sam,
You cannot change someone else. That’s the simple truth. Your only option here is to try to change yourself. One huge change would be for you to accept your girlfriend exactly as she is. Another change would be for you to slow down and become more like her. Realistically, I don’t believe you can do either of these things. So, just be honest with her about how you feel and desc7ribe the impact of her lifestyle choices on you.
Should she decide to change, be there for your partner by listening to her and finding out what causes her to eat and why she is unmotivated. Let’s hope that once she realizes she doesn’t want to let you and herself down she may find the motivation needed to lose weight. Being open to what she has to say and being helpful will likely get her to stay focused.
With affection,
Manay Gina
“Honesty is more than not lying. It is truth telling, truth speaking, truth living, and truth loving.” – James E. Faust
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