Dear Manay Gina,
My daughter had a drug-dependency problem before. Now that she has recovered, she has turned to food and has become very fat. She recognizes the problem that she will not or cannot do anything about it on her own. Unfortunately, her husband enables her eating disorder.
We have brought up the issue, gently, on two occasions, but she says she is working on it. But Idon’t think so. If you have any advice on how we might help this wonderful young woman, we would be most grateful.
Medical journals say that food addiction is quite simply, being addicted to junk food in the same way as drug addicts are addicted to drugs. And since this is a health problem, it is best to seek the help of a psychologist or a psychiatrist.
At this point, you must be already aware that addicts have a tendency to find enablers. Unfortunately, she found it in her husband. So, you three should have a chat with a professional. Not you alone because people don’t usually listen to kinfolks.
Ultimately, while you have been very supportive and successful in urging your daughter toward recovery from addiction, the responsibility to do the hard work to stay sober and manage her health lies on her. You cannot live for your daughter. You can only support her sobriety, point her toward help when she asks for it, and understand and accept your own limitations.
“Self-control, openness, the ability to engage with others, to plan and to persist – these are the attributes that get people in the door and on the job, and lead to productive lives.” – James Heckman
Send questions to dearmanay[email protected]