Hi Ms. Rica,
Kapag my boyfriend goes down on me, I find it hard to reach an orgasm. Nung mas bata ako, hindi naman ganito kahirap mag-orgasm. Palagi nga ako nagma-masturbate. Bakit ngayon wala na? May mali na ba sa akin? Ganito ba talaga kapag tumatanda?
Make Me Come
Hello Make Me Come,
Totoo nga na kapag may ginawa tayong paulit-ulit, it’s easier for us to get used to the sensation and be desensitized. Pero huwag kang mag-alala, it’s normal naman talagang mag-masturbate nang mas madalas kapag bata tayo, and normally, it doesn’t have any negative effects on us pagtanda.
Though you may feel soreness or numbness at your clitoral and vaginal area after a period of time, usually, these sensations will go away, and there are no long-term negative effects.
Mahapdi lang kapag naparami. Baka signal na yun na pahinga na muna. To be honest, your self-exploration can actually help you figure out your body more so that you’ll be able to pleasure yourself better!
A lot of women experience this challenge of reaching an orgasm due to different factors – physical, emotional, and mental stress.
Are you going through something lately? Maybe you’re worried and anxious about something in your life.
Puwede ring may pressure kang nararamdaman form yourself to reach an orgasm. It’s also possible that you’ve had a change in the balance of your hormones which lead you to be less orgasmic at this age.
Whatever it is that’s holding you back from that climax, puwede ito ma-address through self-reflection o kaya ay therapy with a sex therapist, like me!
For now, baka gusto mong mas magfocus on the pleasurable sensations and on your fantasies and desires that could aid in your arousal while your boyfriend is busy diving down there.
Baka rin makatulong na turuan mo ng tamang pagsisid ang boyfriend mo. Tell him what feels good for you.
Do you get aroused reading erotic stories or maybe watching porn? You may use those while he’s stimulating you. Don’t worry, you’re not cheating. Having fantasies does not constitute cheating. It’s just a way of you getting your sexual functioning back to normal.
As long as it’s your boyfriend down there, kahit ano pang naiisip mo at that time to help you orgasm, it’s fine.
It could also help if you show him how you want to be pleasured. As always, good communication between your partner and you is a huge key into having a sexually satisfying experience.
Just remember, that whatever it is that you’re going through right now, it’s not because of the amount of self pleasure that you’ve done in the past. Chill ka lang. Mas makakapagorgasm ka kung relaxed ka lang.
Good luck!
With Love and Lust,
Rica
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If you have questions on love and sex that you want me to answer, you may message me at www.facebook.com/TheSexyMind or DM me at IG and Twitter @_ricacruz.
Biography: Rica Cruz is a Licensed Psychologist, Marriage Counselor, and, Sex and Relationships Therapist. She comes out as the Resident Psychologist on Boys’ Night Out every Thursday night on Magic 89.9.
