By Rica Cruz
Hello Ms. Rica,
I am a girl who is engaged and to be married early next year. Lahat naman po ng relationships ko in the past were with boys lang. Pero I have my doubts about my sexuality. Pag po nanonood ng porn, yung gusto ko lang panoorin is ‘yung mga girl on girl porn. There are also times na I masturbate and fantasize about women. Normal po ba to or kailangan ko nang aminin na lesbyana ako?
Dear Final Fantasy,
Thank you so much for your question and congratulations on your engagement. I want you to feel comfortable with your question. Hindi naman ikaw lang ang nakakaramdam or nagtatanong ng ganyan.
Fantasies are normal and everyone has them. Iba-iba naman ang mga purposes ng mga pantasya natin. Pwede kasi nitong i-explore ‘yung mga element ng ating sexuality na maaring taboo or hindi tayo komportable sa ating buhay.
Or pwede din naman itong exciting escape from the usual or routine na ating nararanasan. The brain is the central organ of pleasure, ayon sa mga research. Kaya nga may mga babaeng nakakapag-orgasm batay lang sa mga pantasya nila.
Maganda ding gamitin ang mga pantasya natin for arousal and to make sexual experiences pleasurable.
Sexual identity is defined by many factors. Hindi lamang ito dahil pinagpapantasyahan mo ang opposite or same sex mo.
Physical, emotional, social networks, relationships, and others matter in finding out your sexual identity. Maraming experts ang nagsasabing isang mahabang spectrum ang sexuality, na ang homosexuality and heterosexuality ay nasa magkabilang dulo. Sabi nila,marami sa atin ang nasa gitna ng spectrum na ito, pero kung nasaan ka man sa spectrum na ito, doesn’t define you as person. I feel that what you have to do is be comfortable with your sexuality, wag kang makulong with the definitions that people have or compare yourself to others. Be comfortable with what you want and who you are.
Lastly, you can probably consider sharing your fantasies or desire to your partner. Malay mo magamit ninyo ito with role playing or baka samahan ka pa niyang manood ng lesbian porn. It may be something that can spice up your sex life, without the doubts. Exciting di ba? Have fun! #takeitfromthesexymind
With love and lust,
* * *
If you have questions on love and sex that you want me to answer, you may message me at www.facebook.com/TheSexyMind.
Biography: Rica Cruz is a Licensed Psychologist, Marriage Counselor, and, Couples and Sex Therapist. She comes out as the Resident Psychologist on Boys’ Night Out every Thursday night on Magic 89.9.