Dear Manay Gina,
My boyfriend and I have a really strong relationship. He is intelligent, always honest and rational. Unfortunately, these last two qualities have caused a bit of a problem. I consider myself intelligent too but nowhere near his level. Sometimes his argumentative style and reasoning are applied to our relationship. In many situations, I feel as though I am the one who has to compromise because he always wins the argument. I know my positions are reasonable, but I just can’t articulate them as well as he does. I have talked to my boyfriend about this, but I think he has a hard time seeing my point of view—that though my feelings may not always be logical or rational, they are still valid.
We should never confuse bullying for brilliance. I don’t know what his IQ is, but your master-mind does seem low in his emotional intelligence.
Give him a piece of this advice and tell him it’s important for the two of you that he remember this by heart. First, he should learn how to process the feelings of others. He should also examine how his actions or words will affect the people around him. If not, he is destined to go through life alienating co-workers, friends, and loved ones like you.
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“We should take care not to make the intellect our god;it has, of course, powerful muscles, but no personality.” – Albert Einstein
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