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Best effort

Dear Manay Gina,

Gina De VeneciaI have been married for 14 years with my husband. Sadly, I have spent most of that time depressed, unhappy and feeling unloved, even after our three children were born. Because of these, there have been times in the past when I asked that we separate. After another misunderstanding sometime ago, my husband began taking me out to eat and being very sweet. He said that he does not want me to go. However, I know it will only last for a little while because similar situations already happened in the past. My question is: Should I stay and continue this or should I go and hope he changes enough to want me back?

Lorie

Dear Lorie,

After 14 years, the chances your husband will make permanent changes in how he treats you seem slim. But one more chance may be in order here, since he is making an effort — and because you still have three kids at home.

However, the long history of problems makes it fair for you to attach some conditions. First, tell him that counseling is not an option, it’s mandatory. Tell him also that this will be the last chance, and if things don’t improve, you will be done with him.

I can’t say that he will definitely agree to the conditions you impose. If he doesn’t, you know you gave your best effort and can start to rebuild your life.

Affectionately,
Manay Gina

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“The purpose of our lives is to be happy.” – Dalai Lama

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Send questions to manaygina@hotmail.com

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