Dear Manay Gina,
My husband of four years had a loony girlfriend in the past. Apparently, she found his e-mail address through a friend of a friend and has sent my husband several e-mails in the past few weeks. I think she’s in the process of rebuilding her life after she was separated from her husband.
My husband, of course, answers all her e-mails, in an effort to be civil to her while she’s going through a difficult process. I am totally against this and told him that if he continues to e-mail her, she will always promptly respond. In my heart, I believe she’s trying to snake her way back into a relationship with him, and it is making me sick.
My question now is, do I write her an e-mail of my own? And if so, what do I say?
“Stay away from my husband!” missives just sound desperate, so, you shouldn’t write this woman yourself.
The dreamboat you married needs encouragement to use that very old and very effective gambit of just not responding. In other words, if he ignores her e-mails, she will take the hint. And if she doesn’t, he can still not respond.
Do tell him, that he has already been civil and supportive, but now is the time to be silent … or he will be her pen pal—if not more—until hell freezes over.
“Liberty is the prevention of control by others.” — John Acton
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