Dear Manay Gina,
My relative has been married for about 9 years and has two children with his wife. He has a farm in the nearby town. There have been talks before that he has a relationship with a married neighbor. Now, I have conﬁrmed it is true because she ended up pregnant, and her relatives said he’s the father. As a result, he’s now completely ignoring the other woman because he fears that his wife might learn about it. Do you think I should let his wife know what is going on? I would hate to be in her shoes and be in the dark about something like this.
Although your heart’s in the right place, things could go haywire in your own life if you say something, so stay out of it. It sounds like this might work itself out anyway without your intervention. If the woman’s relatives believe that your family member is the father of the child, a blow-up could happen soon anyhow. If this comes to pass, be modest and don’t boast that you knew anything about it. That could inﬂame your relative’s wife, and she might punish you by cutting off your friendship.
What’s really sad about this is that the kid will have to start out at such a disadvantage. Regardless, it’s not your place to go to the wife, especially since you don’t know what she already knows.
It’s certainly not fair for her to be left in the dark while her husband’s philandering is out in the open. But when it comes to accountability, the truth has to come from the mother of her husband’s child or the husband himself.
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