Changing Men

Dear Manay Gina,

I’m 39 years old, with two children. I can say that I am happy the way things are, and I’m also secured, emotionally and financially. My problem started when I began dating a year-and- a- half ago. My bf is a bachelor, and several years younger than me. Recently, he said that our relationship could go no further because he couldn’t deal with the stepkid thing. He doesn’t have much relationship experience, and he envisioned settling down in the traditional way. So, we broke up but reconciled as soon, after I realized that I wasn’t ready to get married anyway.

Since we get along so well, I now find myself hoping he’ll change his mind. Though his feelings for me have grown much stronger, it is what it is. At what point do I give up hope? Most of my friends say to hang in there, but how long is long enough?

Myrtle

Dear Myrtle,

You’ve heard the saying about changing men — and how you can’t. Well, it’s true. And he’s not trying to hide it from you.

If you can reconcile yourself to simply dating for the rest of your life, then, yes, stick with him … until he finds someone without an ex and without kids who seems to fit his view of what a perfect mate should be. But if you truly wish to remarry and have more children, don’t put your life on hold for this guy.

Affectionately,
Manay Gina

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Happiness is having a dream you cannot let go of and a partner who would never ask you to.” — Robert Brault

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Send questions to manaygina@hotmail.com